As young adults, there is so much expected of us. There are days where you have to multi-task things that really shouldn't be done at the same time; Like filing your nails while driving. I'm a believer in enjoying everything you do and never doing anything simply because you think you "should." But this doesn't apply if you're a slacker. Being lazy is lame.

07 June 2011

We've Moved.

Because of the recent marriage between myself and a man, he and I decided to begin our own blog together. It is listed as private, but if you would like an invitation, I would be happy to invite you if you send me your email.

Thanks for reading.

02 May 2011

What it is like to be a Bride - Scam calls

One of the best planning resources for weddings is a bridal fair. Most cities have these a few times a year. A lot of vendors come; photographers, cake artists, reception centers, dress shops, caterers, etc.. It's a wonderful place to get ideas of what is available in your town, price ranges, and sometimes you can get some good deals. With a lot of options close together, you can get a better sense of what you like and don't like with side-by-side comparisons.

Aside from a plug for bridal shows, I would like to issue a warning. When you start going to bridal shows and shops that require you to register, sign-up or whatever they say to get your phone number and mailing information....beware of who else will use that information! I wouldn't discourage you from going to a bridal show just because they ask for your information. You can be eligible for some great prizes this way, and they have to be able to reach you some how.

The warning is to know when to accept offers and when not to. A few months after I had attended the bridal show I started getting some calls from a number I didn't recognize. They called a few times a day, never leaving a message. Finally I decided to call it back and find out what was going on. It was a mens tuxedo store, asking if we had found a place for my fiances rental tux. I said "yes", and that was the end of it. Then, a few weeks later I got a call from a photography studio, telling me I had won $700 worth of photography. It was only a month and a half from my wedding date, so I thought it was odd they had waited so long to tell me, since a photographer is one of the first things you book in wedding planning. They wouldn't send me a price list, just told me I needed to come into the studio. My fiance and I decided it was a waste of time, knowing there was no way they were just going to give us $700 worth of photography without some other monetary commitment. The next day a young girl called me, telling me that a "secret sister" had referred me to get a free facial. I said "what is her name?" and she replied by saying, "it's a secret sister thing. Now, can I ask you some questions to get to know you better?" My answer? "No." And just recently, another company called me, telling me they were going to give my fiance and I either a package for vacation, or wedding bands. The only requirement was to meet at a hotel in the city and stay for a 90-minute culinary presentation. No. Thanks. I could just smell a money trap.

Now, I do believe that all of these people work for legitimate businesses. In reality, my fiance could have claimed all of these prizes, just not entirely "free" as they were advertising. So just pay attention to what these people are asking you. You are more than welcome to hang up on them, or check them out. The internet is a great place to find out if they are legitimate business people, which most are. Remember that rarely is anything "free."

19 April 2011

Gratitude Week - Day 2.

Today I am most grateful for people willing to help. The past few months have been insane with trying to juggle school, work and wedding plans. I have had a lot of offers for help which has been incredibly life-saving. There are also those who are wonderful at reassuring me that everything will work out, and work out well, in the end. Thank you, thank you, thank you to those who keep me going!

18 April 2011

Gratitude Week - Day 1.

This may seem rather trivial and mundane, but with the recent downpour of water from the sky, umbrellas have been a tremendous blessing. There are varieties of styles, colors and patterns that can make them a fashion statement as well as a useful gadget. Keeping you dry, you don't have to worry about fixing your hair or make-up, clothes soaking, or the rain ruining materials you are carrying. They are wonderful things that help prevent sickness from being wet and cold, and time/money spent on repairing damaged materials.

Gratitude Week.

With rainy weather, impatience building for the upcoming wedding, finals, and trying to find a job so my new husband and I can support each other, life has become a little bleak and for the lack of a better word, very tense. So my goal this week is to submit to you, dear reader, something I am grateful for in hopes to brighten the mood of a rather dark sky.

15 April 2011

What it is like to be a Bride - Professional Relations

Something I struggle with is being rude to people. I don't want to make anyone feel stupid, unwanted, undervalued or second best. Even sales-people. They are just as much of a person as your friends are. But one thing I learned about people who are in the wedding business, whether retail, artistic or vendor, is that they see hundreds of brides. The wedding business is all about checking out your options, shopping around and coming back for a second look. Feel free to check things out as often as you want, and talk to lots of people. Just tell them you aren't ready to make a decision (thanking them for their help of course) and you will get back to them. If the person you work with is professional, they will be more than willing to let you think about something before you decide and won't push you. And if they do, you can tell them "no". If they get offended, don't take it personally because they'll be seeing a different bride soon enough.

13 April 2011

Scholars

When you hear the phrase "Scholars believe...", or "Scholars think...", what should really be said is the following:

"Scholars found a miniscule piece of evidence about one circumstance during a single period of time in one group of people, that leads them to believe that this group of people at this single point in time did this certain thing at least once in their life-time. BUT, it should also be noted that this person might be lying or imagining an event or circumstance. Also, keep in mind that during translation or interpretation there can be many synonyms for a word that could change the entire message trying to be given. Mostly we just guess and try to say something that sounds logical and intelligent."

04 April 2011

What it is like to be a Bride - Psychological Well-Being

You're planning the biggest event of your life. The day you will be the most beautiful you've ever been, or ever will be. Everyone you love will be coming to see you, and you want to impress them. Hundreds of couples are married daily, just in your city alone; You HAVE to be unique.

NO PRESSURE, right?

First of all, you need to acknowledge that nothing ever a) is perfect, b) goes as planned, c) turns out exactly how you expect.

Next, don't try to compete with anyone else. Be it magazines, the wedding you went to last week, or even with your dream wedding in your head. Make decisions based on who you are, what your resources are and what is available. You may not be able to afford 3 dresses, or live doves. Dresses for your bridesmaids may not come in the exact color you want. There are thousands of beautiful options of styles, flowers, and color combinations. Accept reality (see previous paragraph). You can still have a beautiful wedding even if it's not just how you have pictured it since you were 4.

Most importantly, remember that this day is about you and the man you love. Make it a day that the both of you will enjoy and will love to reflect on. It's about happiness, not stress. He is the reason for this endeavor. Share it with him. Whatever happens, as long as the two of you are together all will be well.

There are hundreds of things on your to-do list. Take them one at a time, make a schedule of when things need to be done and do them. You'll be amazed how much gets done just a step at a time.

Make sure you are nurturing this relationship you are about to tie yourself too. Don't get too caught up in all the planning and leave the poor man standing alone. He's the important part, your number ONE priority. Schedule dates and don't talk about the wedding. Remember that he's the shelter, not the storm. Let him help you through your stress, don't take it out on him.

Planning one of the biggest events of your life, which happens to be one of the biggest changes in your life can be overwhelming and scary. But keep a good attitude, and remember that one day (sooner than you think), it will all be over and you'll be with the man you love.

What it is like to be a Bride - Choose your battles

It is impossible to please everyone. IMPOSSIBLE. With 20 family members, there are 20 different ideas and choices. This event is supposed to highlight you and the groom, so make it what you like. But there are some things you should be prepared to budge on. Insist on the dress you want to wear, but let grandma chose your veil. Insist on the style of cake, but let some people give their two-cents for flavors. People want to be involved, not just told what they can and can't do, just like you. So, decide what is most important to you and let other people help make decisions. No one likes a bridezilla.

What it is like to be a Bride - Style Choices

A theme is the best way to make everything work for one purpose at any party. BBQ hot dogs don't go well with a black-tie affair. Since this is your wedding, it should reflect your personality. But there are a few warnings in choosing your theme and colors.
  1. Do the colors you like go together well? You may love purple and orange, but side-by-side the colors are hideous. Choose colors that compliment each other in some way and will make a pleasing presentation.
  2. Are there actual objects made in the colors you chose? You may love chartreuse, but no one makes a chartreuse bridesmaid dress. If you choose an odd color, you'll be stuck with custom making most of the clothing and decorations. If you want a certain color of shoe, keep in mind the same thing. There aren't many purple or green shoes in the world. 
  3. Do people look good wearing these colors? If you have a few red-headed bridesmaids, making them wear orange is cruel. Make sure the people wearing the colors will feel comfortable in your choices.
  4. Clothing styles: Do the girls feel ugly in the style of dress you chose? Do the men feel uncomfortable in the tux cut you chose? This IS your big day, but the people who are sharing the day with you will want to enjoy themselves too. Don't insist on something that no one feels comfortable with. 

What it is like to be a Bride - Reception Venue

There are many factors to keep in mind when choosing the venue for one's reception. First of all, location. Is it easy to find? If people don't know how in the world to get somewhere, they probably won't make the journey. Is it near the location of the guests? If they have to make an hour drive, again you will lose guests. Is it comfortable and clean? Will the atmosphere fit the theme of your wedding? If you're a city-girl, looking at barns probably won't suit your tastes. Is it big enough for all your guests? Is there anything annoying about the venue that you think will bother you? For example, a few places I visited had fountains. They were beautiful but the sound of running water drove me nuts. The thought of combining that noise with music was unbearable. What can you stand to lose? You love the atmosphere, but they don't have the kind of food you like? Weigh the pros and cons, decide what you can live without, and what you have to have. This is a good general ideal for just about everything to do with wedding decisions. For a reception place, convenience and comfort will be your biggest blessings. Helpful people, easy resources and a comfortable atmosphere.

30 March 2011

What it is like to be a Bride - Intro

Having been through two-months (so far) of being engaged, I've learned a few bits of wisdom about all things to do with weddings. Not so much in choice and taste one's own wedding, it is all a matter of opinion. Simply put, planning a wedding is stressful. It seems silly to go through an experience, learn something, and not share what one has acquired. So, following this post will be a series of some things one might want to keep in mind when approaching and planning a wedding. This is all a matter of opinion, but isn't that what blogs are for anyway?

15 March 2011

Five reasons you SHOULD watch the Bachelor and BELIEVE what you see.

No, that title is in no way sarcastic. Though I think most of us would simply declare the Bachelor television show as irrational and unrealistic, there are several great lessons to be learned:
  1. First of all, "love" makes your emotions insane. You think that you'll be perfectly blissful every moment of falling in love with someone? HA! Forget it. Your emotions will be up and down, in and out: you'll doubt, you'll cry, you'll laugh, you'll enjoy it. Fairy tale "I knew it the moment I met you" is rare.
  2. People are stupid. They make dumb mistakes. They say the wrong thing at the wrong time.  Just because that person you are on a date with says something you don't appreciate, be forgiving. We all say and do stupid stuff. Especially under pressure.
  3. Hot people on the outside aren't always hot people on the inside. If you are looking for someone you are instantly attracted to, that person will probably be instantly attractive because they are in great shape with great style and great hair. That shape and style and hair will one day all be gone. Then what are you going to do? Dump them for their lack of hotness? Attractiveness grows from getting to know someone who is kind, gentle and generous. Attraction grows as you realize there is someone else in the world who enjoys your company as much as you enjoy theirs. 
  4. Romantic love means nothing. I repeat, romantic love means nothing. All of those females, one male. And suddenly all those women are in love with and fighting for the same man.... If those jittery feelings inside you are your indication that you've found the perfect mate, how do you explain that twenty-five women all feel that about the same man? And how do you explain his turmoil over choosing one female over another? If it were right, wouldn't he just know? Not a chance. Romance comes from a deep, connected relationship. Not from that bubbly feeling. Romance comes after the relationship is built, not before.
  5. We're all a little star-struck, wishing for that fairytale companion to sweep us off our feet. We have these dreams and are unwilling to admit that they are indeed dreams that have no basis in reality. Not only do those people on the screen need a wake-up call, but so do the rest of us. Love doesn't happen on a TV show, or in movies, or in a song. It is built slowly over time with patience, forgiveness, endurance, a strong will, faith and hope. 

08 March 2011

More brain mal-functioning.

My body has decided to wake up several times a night, and because of this I am able to remember many of my various dreams. For better....or for worse.

Jim had chosen an invitation for us to mail out. Except it came out HORRIBLE. There were lots of photos of OTHER people and buildings, none of just us. It had a tropical theme, but it looked like the di-cut machine had exploded. Jim wasn't happy that we had to go back to the printer to get it all fixed. And I don't blame him. It was a dungeon lair with metal doors, and the walls were seeping with water. After descending into the lair, we came upon a large open room with ramps and stairs leading down to a platform above a black pool of water. My oldest nephew and his parents were with me, and my nephew was running around the walkways, then stopped to stare over the edge of the railing to stare into the water.

That's all I remember. And still no explanation: Except I have been thinking about my nephew lately, and we are planning to order invitations this week. Hopefully the printer doesn't work in a dungeon.

07 March 2011

It's all in My Head.

Amy Adams was a Junior High school teacher. She was started to go berserk. She stomped/ran to the white board to write.Then she got insanely angry, her eyes turned red and yellow like a monster, she leaned in towards a set of four students, glaring at them, hitting one of them. Then the scene turned into a nasty, furious brawl. Everyone was in a fight. The fight wasn't like something you see in the movies, but real and nasty.Someone was sent through a pane of glass near the front of the room. The last images of the dream were of people all cut up, with paper-cut like looking cuts all over their bodies, but no blood. Loved ones were bent over each individual.
One poor kid had his kidney's hanging out, so they covered him with a sheet.

Disgusting images, aren't they. This was a dream I had last night. Usually I am able to figure out the source of my dreams from things I have seen or experienced at some point in my life. This one was totally out of the blue. Maybe a combination of "I Am Legend", "Enchanted", and an awkward Junior High experience, but nothing really to that level. 

But thankfully, it was preceded by something much more entertaining. Jim and I were required to have a civil marriage before we could be married in the temple. So, a week before the temple sealing, we had a ceremony and reception. We were going to do anything we wanted. The next weeks reception would be formal and socially normal. But for this round, I wore a dress that I've worn before as a costume but can pass for a wedding gown. In an 18th Century style French aristocrat dress, I was scrambling to get my hair done. I had forgotten to get earrings, so sent my sister to grab some since I couldn't move very fast in the dress. I finally got my hair up, but was more than 30 minutes late for the ceremony. Jim was also dressed in 18th Century French aristocrat clothing, complete with a pony-tailed wig, and high-heeled white boots. My sisters and I danced into the room to pop music to begin the festivities. It then jumped to after the party. Jim and I changed into normal clothing and got in his car. We drove around some familiar streets for awhile. Jim was incredibly nervous. We decided to get a Red Box. I decided on "Young Victoria." That dream ended, then the nasty nightmare ensued.

Dear Brain, 
I see no connection between the two and now you make me feel like a psycho to jump moods so quickly. What?!

23 February 2011

I'm grateful for....

A fantastic man. With more than marriage as a life-change coming up in the near future, sometimes I can be a little beside myself: Confused, lost and full of worry. Life has simply become overwhelming. Though the future is bright and full of hope, taking action to secure a few minor details (graduation, job, etc.) has been very difficult. There are so many options, so many wonderful possibilities, I had worked myself into an indecisive rut. And yet, this man of mine is patient and supportive. He's willing to say, "Dear, you might need to rethink your strategy." He talks me through my own thoughts, listening to and validating them. With a hug and a kiss, he assures me the future will be happy and he will help me get wherever I want to go.

Cheers to you, My Dear, for putting up with me and pushing me to pursue a goal and go for the gold.

P.S. Happy 7 months (or 3 months) on Friday.

09 February 2011

Lamentations of the Ill.

I have always tried to have the attitude that having a cold, the flu, or any such not-so-life-threatening illness, is something to be grateful for. It's a chance to slow down, take a needed breather from a busy life and realize how grateful you are that each body-part performs it's normal function properly. Today, I am grateful for a functioning throat that allows me to speak and sing. The ease of communication is something we take for granted I think; a luxury we frequently abuse by not caring to communicate with others properly. Communication can build or destroy a relationship in mere seconds. I am grateful my vocal chords work, and my lips move in-sync.

Also, I am grateful for the ice cream and flowers brought to me by a loving fiancee.

07 February 2011

The Difference

The difference between a Humanities and a Sciences major:

Humanities: All they care about is if I've read the material, show up and have an opinion.

Sciences: As long as I've done the homework and do well on the tests they don't care if I show up or have an opinion.

01 February 2011

Five Things

In the Theta flower-passing tradition, here are five things we love about each other.

What Erin loves about Jim:
  1. He is gentle and patient.
  2. He is dedicated and hard-working with everything in his life. From work and school to family and relationships. He doesn't back down from a challenge.
  3. He can blow the roof off any opera house. Almost from the time we met I would say "If I could marry a voice, it would be Jim's."
  4. We can talk and talk and talk and talk and talk. About anything and everything.
  5. He is temple worthy and holds the Priesthood.
  6. Can I have #6 on a list of 5? He's great with the pick-up lines, super cheesy and romantic when I least expect it.
What Jim loves about Erin:
  1. She treats me with so much love and respect!
  2. She is patient with my shortcomings and indecisiveness.
  3. She laughs at my jokes... most of the time :)
  4. She keeps the commandments and expects me to do the same.
  5. She is the most beautiful being I have ever seen.
  6. (can't let her out-do me, now can I?) I can talk to her about everything and anything.
  7. (but I can outdo her! thats ok! :P)  She is willing to listen and understand things from my perspective, and when necessary, is willing to change.

31 January 2011

First Date.

By another request, here is the story of the first date.

It depends on what you count as the first date. Technically, we have three different "first dates." The very first was in the spring of 2008. We met in Institute choir in January. It was a very small group of around 10 singers, so we went around introducing ourselves. Jim began by telling us a story about how he realized that he felt weak every time he walked passed his bedroom closet, and discovered a small piece of kryptonite hiding there. I remember wanting to ask him out, or be asked out by him in the first few weeks, but he procured a different girlfriend. I was disappointed, but more or less undeterred. He was telling people about a project you could do for a Professor who would then give you free movie tickets, and I asked him for the information so I could get his email address and chat with him. We became friends rather quickly. I told him about a gelatto shop he should take his girlfriend to, but as this other relationship was not working out, he asked me if I would show him where it was. Thus, we set up a date. Since he lived in Boony-ville, we went during lunch time. The date was....

SUPER AWKWARD!!!!!!

I don't really know what it was, but we both felt incredibly awkward sitting there eating gelatto. It was fantastic gelatto, but for some reason conversation just wasn't on the same page that day. This didn't stop him from asking twice more before I tried to set him up with a friend who lived in Provo.

The "second first date" was two years after that. We had both been through relationships that ended poorly and unexpectedly. We supported each other through everything. The relationship had grown to a point where we trusted each other explicitly, and the only thing that kept us from being a couple was the romance. We had made it clear to each other that we were "not interested." I decided in March/April 2010 that this was dumb. So, I mentioned interest to Jim, who then asked me out. We went to La Caille for appetizers and desserts. My fears and insecurities got the better of me, and after two more dates I bailed. He told me that if I ever wanted to attempt again, I would need to be more sure.

A few more months went by and.....I became more sure. Poor guy. Again we went out to Red Mango and took a walk around Sugarhouse Park. It was our plan to just discuss what had happened and if I had ruined my chances. He told me no, but he was planning to keep an open mind about other females.

....

He kissed me later that evening. \o/

28 January 2011

As Per Request...

A friend requested I tell the ring-picking story. It's really not all that exciting...but here goes:

Some people have commented, wondering what took Jim so long. Many were expecting an engagement even before we were dating. But just to clear things up, it was ME who took so long. We were going to go ring shopping at the beginning of January, but I panicked and asked if we could wait a little while. It was just a week and a half later than planned, but my nerves appreciated it.

The night before we went I tossed and turned in anticipation. I couldn't stop thinking about what the heck I was doing the next day. That night's snow storm had also made the roads very slick and the news reported many accidents, and I hadn't heard from Jim since before he left work so my mind went crazy with worry, 'I agreed to marry someone that I'm not going to get the chance to. AAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!' But that was all in vain, he was perfectly warm in his own bed.

My Mom offered to pay for my nails, so she and I went just before Jim came to get me to have manicures. "Gotta have pretty hands for a pretty ring!" she said.

So, with great feeling hands we headed to Shane Co. Then to a custom place that we ran from pretty quickly, then to Williams Jewelers. At Williams, we were chatting with the jeweler, and another woman walked into the shop. I glanced behind my shoulder and my eyes went wide. I nudged Jim and his eyes went wide. I said "Denise!" and she turned around in surprise. This woman is the mother of a childhood friend of mine, my voice teacher and was also played Mrs. Fairfax in Jane Eyre, where Jim stared as Mr. Rochester and I played Lady Ingram. She gasped and said "WHAT HAVE I CAUGHT YOU TWO DOING?!" .... "ooooh....nothing...... blush." During the play she would come to me and say, "Have you thought about dating Jim?" And she would go to Jim and say, "Have you thought about dating Erin?" At that time we were not yet dating, but had been close friends for over two years. So, needless to say, she was ecstatic.

We stopped at Fred Meyer Jeweler and found another choice there also. We decided to call it a day. Jim asked me several times over the next few days, "Have you thought about the rings any more?" I decided on the one at Shane Co, but we went back a few times to make sure it's what we wanted. It was, but it needed to be re-sized. The jeweler told us it wouldn't be ready until February 1st. I was sent away for a moment so Jim could talk to her about his plans. We went back to purchase the ring, and our jeweler followed, handed the tag to the clerk, then said "I need that back," and ran away with it. Over the next few days he would say to me "It won't be ready until February 1st" and I would just nod and say "ok." But since you've read the preceding story, we all know he didn't want to wait that long. ;)

27 January 2011

My Side of the Story

The story. The whole story is rather long and starts just over 3 years ago when I first met Jim in Institute Choir. I will save that long novel for another day.

I was kind of expecting it because Jan. 25th was 6-months since we were "officially" a couple. But Jim kept telling me the ring wouldn't be ready until February 1st, so I decided to just not ask questions and go with whatever happened. He picked me up just after 6pm and drove me to a look-out spot on the mountains, a place we had been before a few times. He was recreating a night back in August when he asked me if he could do anything in the world for me and I jokingly had responded, "Pearls, Jim. I want real pearls." From which point he proceeded to get a small silk bag from his car holding a real pearl necklace. Of course I was shocked, I had been kidding!

This night was just after it had snowed, so there was a gentle cloud cover over the city. It seemed the sky was upside down, the gray being the earth and the city lights were floating in the sky. We sat on the hood of his car and he asked me the same question. "Erin, what do you want?" I said to him, "I have my pearls, I am happy." ... "What else Erin?" "Not to slip on the snow." "What else?" "Um.....Clean house, good kids and a million dollars.....and a good husband." "I think I can help with that one." He walks back to his car and brings me a long stem, gorgeous red rose, a heart shape box of chocolates (the tasty kind) and a small box. I grinned as he handed them each to me. I had trouble taking the ribbon off the box and he said "hurry!" Finally it came off and I opened it. Inside was the ring box which he took from me, opened and got down on one knee. It was really slushy on the ground, but he was down there anyway. I thought "Wow, this must be love if he's on his knees in the snow." He said that he couldn't imagine his life without me, that he loved me and "will you be my eternal companion?" I stared at him, then nodded and said "Uh-huh!" He stared at me for a minute before standing up and putting the ring on my finger.

Even though I knew it was coming, and even though he knew I would say yes, I still felt like a deer in the headlights and he was still super nervous (aka super cute!).

After we called all our families, we went to Epic Casual Dining. FANTASTIC FOOD by the way. Highly recommended. It was a bit of a shock every time I looked at my finger, and yet as Jim said, "It feels like business as usual." It seemed as if nothing else in the world could have happened but this.
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