It's All Worth It!

Trying to be witty or funny just isn't going to work for this one. Cold hard facts is all that needs to be presented for you to get the idea. Yesterday, I successfully used up 2 tape white-out dispensers, and had to move on to a liquid bottle (which had to be dried). At the end of 7 hours, I had gotten through the letter G. Today, the system of simply whiting-out personal information was reconfigured. The old people (more than 5 years ago) were to be shredded, to save on white-out and time. So, starting back at A, those who were too old to be serious were separated from their file and put in a pile to be shredded. The shredder is heavy-duty, capable of shredding up to 8 sheets at a time. Half-way through the third large stack of papers (there were lots of old people), the shredder stopped. Confused, I emptied the bin, thinking it was telling me it was too full to go on. Replacing the bin, it still wouldn't shred. Slightly worried, I laid on the floor and picked at the jammed bits of paper. The poor thing wasn't satisfied and refused to eat any more. Deducting (and hoping) that it was simply running out of breath, I waited for it to cool down. Success! It shredded a few more papers, then quit. I think it's angry at me. So, with piles of paper shred, a small hill of removed staples, and with white-out on my fingers, it's time to go home, and save letters J-Z for next week. Working as an office grunt is medicine enough to motivate one to continue going to school.

Taking Life Too Seriously?

-A day without sunshine is like . . . Night.
-On the other hand, you have different fingers
-He who laughs last thinks slowest.
-Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
-The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
-Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.
-If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.
-When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
-Every one has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.
-How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?
-Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
-What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
-I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
-Just remember - if the world didn't suck, we would all fall off.
-Life isn't like a box of chocolates . . . it's more like a jar of
jalapenos. What you do to day, might burn you tomorrow.

*a forwarded email. These aren't my own genius.

A Duck Face or Two

Can YOU make a duck face? Put your bottom lip under your teeth, stick the top lip out, and cross your eyes. We're an intelligent looking group, no? This is what you get after we've all eaten a great dinner, playing an intense game of Scrabble, then ingesting several large size home made Oreo cookies.

Nothing Should Surpise Us Anymore

Odd things in this world I have so far discovered:

The TWINKIES project. Experiments upon twinkies to understand what really goes on with them.

Virtual Bubble Wrap. Odd, but incredibly entertaining!

Web pages dedicated entirely to red heads, or those who love them. Who knew we were that special?

An iTunes channel that plays bird sounds, and only bird sounds.

Improv Everywhere.

Elephant Jokes. (warning, I laughed really hard at these)

Youtube lego movies.

Action Figures of Kung Fu Monkey's.
These are what keeps life amazingly awesome! Humans are limitless, or so it seems, especially when they are bored.

The Art of Blood Removal

She looks so beautiful, innocent, loving. You would never expect a woman with this face to hurt even a fly.












HA! That's what YOU think. Stick a woman like her in a phlebotomy class, and this is what you get!









And it doesn't stop there. If she isn't satisfied with your arm, she will go so far as to stick a tube up to a vein in your foot. See the look of glee as she extracts blood from her loving boy?












Truth be told, it was nearly painless. She did a great job. The bleeding stopped quite quickly, and there was no bruising. Besides, who doesn't want a personal vial of their own blood? Tender keepsake, don't you think?

There are much more painful ways of having blood removed, and a needle is by FAR the tamest. If you were one in company of such a being as Count Dracula or Lucy Westenra, you may find yourself lying in their arms, looking deep into their eyes, then feel a rather uncomfortable and painful poke to your throat. Slowly you would sink into a tired slumber, unable to feel much, turning nearly as white as your bones. Sadly, that's nearly all that would be left. If not attended to quickly, and revived with some pure blood of some living soul, you would be left with little time to live. In turn, after your death you would have the gruesome need to extract fresh blood from some poor bloke. Each night you would rise to claim a new pet, and without it, you would forever age, but never die.

See, having blood drawn by a living professional isn't so bad after all.

*Disclaimer: Erin has been reading Dracula by Bram Stoker