As young adults, there is so much expected of us. There are days where you have to multi-task things that really shouldn't be done at the same time; Like filing your nails while driving. I'm a believer in enjoying everything you do and never doing anything simply because you think you "should." But this doesn't apply if you're a slacker. Being lazy is lame.

04 October 2012

Who wants marriage advice from a newlywed?

Usually no one. My husband and I are young, inexperienced in the minds of those who have been married longer than we have, and you may think we have no idea what we are talking about. Yet, we feel we have a wonderful and fulfilling relationship. So, here are a few things we have learned about marriage, some quite unexpectedly.
  • We enjoy resolving differences. Of course we would never pick a fight or wish for a disagreement but when something comes up that we don't agree on, or feelings are hurt, or expectations are unmet, each of us look forward to the time we can sit together, hold each other and explain our feelings and a resolution is met. With open and complete honesty, and some form of physical contact (even just holding hands, or a hand on a knee) we are able to grow into each other as we learn again that our actions and words affect another person, not only ourselves.
  • Attraction carries us in the relationship for about an hour. The other 23 hours of the day are carried by friendship, communication, amiability and patience. Sure, the butterflies are fun but are in no way capable of driving a relationship for very long.
  • We need each other. We need each other like we need the sun to rise. We were fairly independent people before we married, and this independence almost prevented the marriage in the first place. But we can be independent and dependent simultaneously  Of course each person's need is unique, but one person's need for a companion is irrefutable. You need to feel loved and to give love on an equal plane. A child's love to a parent, or a friend's love to another is not a substitute  Many people must rely on this other kind of love because of their own circumstances, but it can in no way take the place of the love from a companion who is devoted to you. It is fulfilling, comforting, and motivating. We drive each other to be better, but also catch the other when we fall. Our dependency makes us stronger, healthier, more free and so much happier.
  • The only thing better than cooking together is eating together what you cooked.  We like to try new recipes.  A lot!  Some of them turn out fantastic and others not so great.  Being with each other and cooking together is only half the fun.  Eating it together provides even more unity... even if it's offering condolences to each other over the food.  Having an activity or a project which we can enjoy together helps bring us closer, especially when conversation reaches a standstill. 
This post was written by my husband and myself. 


Catherine Broughton said...

Long may your happy marriage continue! I have been married 35 years now and we have always been happy together despite some very testing times. It is when you are facing dreadful problems, I mean DREADFUL problems, that you will find out how strong your marriage is - or is not.

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