Short cuts.

We are all acquainted with SparkNotes. Helpful notes that are a quick way to become familiar with a book you are less inclined to read from cover to cover.

We are all acquainted with Facebook. A network of keeping in touch with people you may not otherwise have the chance. Sometimes too much information, as you get their daily, some times hourly updates on moods, activities and relationships.

Brace yourself for the next image: the most up-to-date, teenager friendly version of Pride and Prejudice.

Recent events that were mildly irritating, but mostly entertaining.

1. I answered the phone at work today and was shouted at by a recording "DEAR HOMEOWNER". I hung up on them at that point.
2. Sitting in a business driveway waiting to get into traffic, a boy (around 20 years of age) walks down the sidewalk in front of me, stares and waves as he passes. I ignored him.
3. A small jewel fell out of it's place in a new ring of mine. It fell to the ground, and I promptly bent over to pick it up. It is no larger than the dot of an "i" on this screen. My dog came over thinking my intent was to give her attention. She stepped on it twice before I could grab it. Finding the superglue, I opened the lid and tried to squeeze a tiny portion onto the ring. Nothing came out. I squeezed the rectangular bottle using the other sides, and it came gushing out, but missed the spot where I needed it. I finally got some into the hole, and put the jewel in. The jewel stuck to my finger instead. After fighting with it for a few seconds, it went in. My fingers were covered in superglue. I walked into my bedroom, proud that I saved such a small jewel, turned the ring over and noticed three more jewels missing.
4. Spring is officially here. If you will recall several events from last year concerning bugs and more bugs and more bugs. I have already found a spider in the house, and the front porch light was covered in small green flying things earlier this week. I am not looking forward to the new friendships.
   

Ten Good Reasons Why a French Man Should Not Teach French.

A friend of mine found this list that I wrote for her way back in Junior High, probably in 2002 or 2003. There's a story behind each one of them of course. Our French language teacher, Mr. Baigue was....well, just read.

Ten Good Reasons Why a French Man Should Not Teach French:
10. They bring smelly cheese to class
9. They are obsessed with french food (such as wine)
8. They tell the class the most gruesome details about snail hunting (after the class has just eaten lunch)
7. They think that there is no difference between French and American punishment
6. They won't let you speak English
5. They think that they are your parents and they get to baptize you under a new french name.
4. They enjoy topless women!
3. They want to make money off the rich kids in class by taking them to France.
2. They think Americans are stupid.
1. They are just plain stuck up.

Of course, I lacked tact and wit, but I was 100% honest.

That Easter Morn

That Easter morn, a grave that burst
Proclaimed to man that "Last and First"
Had ris'n again
And conquered pain.

This morn renews for us that day
When Jesus cast the bonds away,
Took living breath
And conquered death.

Thus we in gratitude recall
And give our love and pledge our all,
Shed grateful tear
And conquer fear.

*Text: Marion D Hanks, Music: Robert Cundick.

Protein.

Today I purchased a bottle of Odwalla Vanilla Al'Mondo Soymilk Protein Drink. On the front of the bottle the label reads "18 grams of protein per bottle". In the box with the nutrition facts to the right of this statement (the bottle is rectangular) it reads "Protein 10g. Servings per container about 2". . . . . Ok, so I'm a Classics major. Humanities. My brain isn't automatically inclined towards mathmatics. . . but srsly. I guess this is where the "about 2" servings comes into play.