I will attempt to relate to you the experience I had this evening.
With my stake's Young Single Adult's, we went out to the state Prison. After getting off the freeway, we turned on to a dark road with no lights. Turning onto an adjoining road, there were massive potholes we crossed to enter the parking lot, which was well lit. We got out of the car and walked to the first gate. The fence was about 20 feet high, with 3 rows of huge coils of barbed wire extending the entire length of the fence, which stretched far, and around the corner of the building. I could see other sections of fenced areas, with the same barbed wire around them. We waited for the first gate to open, and after we all had entered through there we had to wait for the gate to close behind us. We waited for the second gate with the same tall fence around it to open, which we walked through before going through the doors, where a security guard took our driver's licenses to check. He stood behind a tall glass window, and just handed our license through a small hole. After clearing us a few at a time, he would unlock the second set of doors, and we were allowed in. There was a large lobby, with a few paintings on the white cinder block walls. The place we visited is called Con-Quest. There was another group, who went in before us. When it was our turn, they walked us into a chamber, sealed the heavy glass and steel doors behind, then opened the next door and let us through. There were lines on the floor. In front of a small window labeled "pills" there were lines that showed where you had to stand to receive your medication. We were led into a basketball gym. The walls were painted with "Dorm A" through "K", each with their own mascot. It felt more like a school than anything. We were seated with the other group in rows of plastic chairs. The chairs were made there at the prison, and as a video showed, so are license plates, the clothes they wear, and they bake a lot of their own food. Some inmates, those in category's 3, 4, and 5, are even out in public at times, cleaning roadsides, setting up benches at the state fair. Those in category 1, are those on death row. 2 is high security. They also categorize each inmate as a "Kappa", "Omega", or "Sigma." A kappa is a hard criminal, who is willing to fight. A sigma, the way the warden put it, is the 85 year old grandpa who molested his grandchild. One who would do anything to avoid a fight. Omega's are those who will go either way. If you push them, they will fight, but they can be docile as well. They never house a kappa and a sigma together, but omega's can be put with either. The rooms there are about 8 x 10 ft total, with two beds. Some inmates are let out for only an hour during the day. You are told every minute of the day, when you will eat, when you will exercise, when to work, when to play. The lights in your room are turned out by a person in the control tower every morning and every night.
After the warden spoke to us, 5 inmates walked in. Jeremy, John, Leslie, and two others who's names escape me. Jeremy and one other were incarcerated for DUI, one on alcohol, one on meth. They both had hit and killed a person, one a 15 year old boy on the sidewalk, the other hit oncoming traffic and killed a lady. Jeremy is 23. The others range from late 20's to early 40's. They had all been in for a few years, some with only a few months until parole, Jeremy is there until 2010 at least. John and Leslie are fathers. John was raised in the LDS church, even baptized at age 8. His father drinks and smokes, so not too long after the baptism, he had a drink as well, just sitting on the porch with his dad. Jeremy started with marijuana with his buddies when he was about 8 or 9. He grew up with his mom who worked 2 jobs to support them. Leslie was in the military until age 23, when his step-dad, 2 uncles and a grandma all died close together, some within a week of each other. He couldn't take the pain any longer. One who's name I don't remember, but is responsible for a life, was on meth. He described the effects as this: I started once, and 9 months later realized I had been high. He wasn't even aware of exactly what he was doing for 9 months.
Most started using drugs, or drinking alcohol around age 8 or 9.
These men appeared as I never would have expected. They all were drug users, and had committed crimes, enough to earn them a few years, yet their faces were soft. If you met one of them in a store, they would smile at you, and you would never know they had been addicted to drugs for most of their lives. The two that had taken lives had different looks though. Sober, still grieving. One spoke, and I think it goes for all, that they can't forgive themselves, until they can prove that they can live right on the outside. The warden pointed out that these men didn't come in that way. The rehabilitation there is intense, and it has a success rate of ~80 per 100. Daily they have group counseling, one on one counseling, they are taken care of medically. If they don't have a high school diploma, they have a chance to earn it there. They offer jobs at a rate of (it said in the old movie, it may be different now) 60 cents an hour.
Leslie, the military man, spoke of his children. An 18 year old boy who is angry and seems to be going down the same path as his father, and a 6 year old girl. This big black military man from the south was reduced to tears as he struggled to say he missed his children, and raising them.
At the end they all gave their words of advice. They say their families could hardly have done more for them. Except for a few things. Jeremy said three things. Communication, communication, communication. Watch out for your children, constantly. Don't give up on them.
The last of the tour was a walk around the horseshoe shaped hall of dormitories. These are much larger than the video said. There areabout 30 - 50 bed in each room. There are a few round metal tables, a TV, some weights in each room. We passed I think 5 separate rooms, each with a different mascot. I felt more like the fish in a tank walking through there. Most just ignored us, but some watched us walk past. Others did not seem as nice or gentle as the 5 we had met. My guess is they only let the best behaved men to do the Monday night visits.
I left feeling...slightly awestruck, surprised, contemplative, and shivering. The atmosphere there was positive, working for something better. As I sit here in a comfy chair (though the heat is off for the night) I realize my simple freedom of turning off my own light. I can eat when I want, wear what I want. I can walk out of a room if I get bored. These men have no such freedoms. So simple, yet we take for granted. What simple pleasure should you be more grateful for?
I expected, which isn't necessarily a bad thing. There isn't any particular boy who is swaying me in any kind of direction, so I get to make these decisions for myself. As much as I like living at home, I'm feeling the urge even more to "leap." Somewhere. Anywhere. But where?
written on it.