Who wants marriage advice from a newlywed?

Usually no one. My husband and I are young, inexperienced in the minds of those who have been married longer than we have, and you may think we have no idea what we are talking about. Yet, we feel we have a wonderful and fulfilling relationship. So, here are a few things we have learned about marriage, some quite unexpectedly.

• We enjoy resolving differences. Of course we would never pick a fight or wish for a disagreement but when something comes up that we don't agree on, or feelings are hurt, or expectations are unmet, each of us look forward to the time we can sit together, hold each other and explain our feelings and a resolution is met. With open and complete honesty, and some form of physical contact (even just holding hands, or a hand on a knee) we are able to grow into each other as we learn again that our actions and words affect another person, not only ourselves.
• Attraction carries us in the relationship for about an hour. The other 23 hours of the day are carried by friendship, communication, amiability and patience. Sure, the butterflies are fun but are in no way capable of driving a relationship for very long.
• We need each other. We need each other like we need the sun to rise. We were fairly independent people before we married, and this independence almost prevented the marriage in the first place. But we can be independent and dependent simultaneously  Of course each person's need is unique, but one person's need for a companion is irrefutable. You need to feel loved and to give love on an equal plane. A child's love to a parent, or a friend's love to another is not a substitute  Many people must rely on this other kind of love because of their own circumstances, but it can in no way take the place of the love from a companion who is devoted to you. It is fulfilling, comforting, and motivating. We drive each other to be better, but also catch the other when we fall. Our dependency makes us stronger, healthier, more free and so much happier.
• The only thing better than cooking together is eating together what you cooked.  We like to try new recipes.  A lot!  Some of them turn out fantastic and others not so great.  Being with each other and cooking together is only half the fun.  Eating it together provides even more unity... even if it's offering condolences to each other over the food.  Having an activity or a project which we can enjoy together helps bring us closer, especially when conversation reaches a standstill. 

This post was written by my husband and myself. 

Will and Won't

This is a post idea I found from a friend's fabulous blog. It is a sign that I am not a perfect human being and that I am not going to try to be perfect today, tomorrow, or even the next day. It is also a sign that most people should probably take what they see and hear with a grain of salt. One persons expectations should not always be our own and we are probably going to be much happier if we create our own expectations for ourselves since we are the only ones who know our true feelings and desires. Let me note that I am NOT saying we should make excuses for the things we do incorrectly or injustly. If each human on the planet tried to be the best person they could be, we would be rid of the world's largest problems within a day. But there are many things in life that are "Good, Better and Best", and sometimes (usually the human female variety) people get caught up in being good/fancy/sophisticated/classy for everything they do. My hopes are that you might make a "Will/Won't" list for yourself, and see what happens to your day.

Will: Be a member of Pinterest, pin my own ideas, recipes and interests.
Won't: Make every fattening recipe just because it looks good, because most of them sure as heck won't feel good after they are ingested.
Won't: Follow all of the relationship/parenting pins. Heaven knows what some people are thinking.
Will: Unfollow the boards that are overly cynical, or meant for guilt trips ("I have a flat stomach even after bearing triplets! Your extra flab makes you ugly and lazy. Eat nothing, run from room to room, and do 100 sit-ups every time you want to say something.")

Will: Read good literature and not feel left out by not owning a TV to keep up with all the popular shows.
Will: See the movies I want to see, and turn off any movie with too much violence, language or even the slight suggestion of sex because I don't want to see, nor do I have to see it.
Won't: See a movie just because everyone LOVES it.

Won't: Hold a grudge for anything he does or says wrong. I sure ain't the picture of perfection, why should expect him to be?
Will: Love my husband, talk to him as an equal partner, and talk about feelings before misunderstandings get out of hand.

Will: Exercise and eat whole, nutritious foods.
Will: Bake and eat my favorite gourmet treats.
Won't: Eat High Fructose Corn Syrup or finish eating any sweet that isn't worth the calories.
Will: Practice yoga.
Won't: Run a marathon.

Won't: Smile at people I don't know, or try to strike up conversation with strangers whom I may never see again.
Won't: Be overly friendly and superficial just so people think I am nice.
Will: Be a loyal, sincere friend and help out those around me who are in need.

Hello...Again

It is me again. Miss me? While the marriage blog is alive and well, I have decided to once again post here. While in a marriage, my husband and I try to be united in all we do (to the best of our ability, we are human after-all), we are also two distinct and separate people. A marriage really couldn't exist if we were both identical. It should go without saying that a life with an identical duplicate of one's self, would be a quite boring life.

So, here I am. These thoughts are mine, and here I can post my thoughts without incriminating my husband into whatever strange things I say.