Who wants marriage advice from a newlywed?

Usually no one. My husband and I are young, inexperienced in the minds of those who have been married longer than we have, and you may think we have no idea what we are talking about. Yet, we feel we have a wonderful and fulfilling relationship. So, here are a few things we have learned about marriage, some quite unexpectedly.

• We enjoy resolving differences. Of course we would never pick a fight or wish for a disagreement but when something comes up that we don't agree on, or feelings are hurt, or expectations are unmet, each of us look forward to the time we can sit together, hold each other and explain our feelings and a resolution is met. With open and complete honesty, and some form of physical contact (even just holding hands, or a hand on a knee) we are able to grow into each other as we learn again that our actions and words affect another person, not only ourselves.
• Attraction carries us in the relationship for about an hour. The other 23 hours of the day are carried by friendship, communication, amiability and patience. Sure, the butterflies are fun but are in no way capable of driving a relationship for very long.
• We need each other. We need each other like we need the sun to rise. We were fairly independent people before we married, and this independence almost prevented the marriage in the first place. But we can be independent and dependent simultaneously  Of course each person's need is unique, but one person's need for a companion is irrefutable. You need to feel loved and to give love on an equal plane. A child's love to a parent, or a friend's love to another is not a substitute  Many people must rely on this other kind of love because of their own circumstances, but it can in no way take the place of the love from a companion who is devoted to you. It is fulfilling, comforting, and motivating. We drive each other to be better, but also catch the other when we fall. Our dependency makes us stronger, healthier, more free and so much happier.
• The only thing better than cooking together is eating together what you cooked.  We like to try new recipes.  A lot!  Some of them turn out fantastic and others not so great.  Being with each other and cooking together is only half the fun.  Eating it together provides even more unity... even if it's offering condolences to each other over the food.  Having an activity or a project which we can enjoy together helps bring us closer, especially when conversation reaches a standstill. 

This post was written by my husband and myself. 

Will and Won't

This is a post idea I found from a friend's fabulous blog. It is a sign that I am not a perfect human being and that I am not going to try to be perfect today, tomorrow, or even the next day. It is also a sign that most people should probably take what they see and hear with a grain of salt. One persons expectations should not always be our own and we are probably going to be much happier if we create our own expectations for ourselves since we are the only ones who know our true feelings and desires. Let me note that I am NOT saying we should make excuses for the things we do incorrectly or injustly. If each human on the planet tried to be the best person they could be, we would be rid of the world's largest problems within a day. But there are many things in life that are "Good, Better and Best", and sometimes (usually the human female variety) people get caught up in being good/fancy/sophisticated/classy for everything they do. My hopes are that you might make a "Will/Won't" list for yourself, and see what happens to your day.

Will: Be a member of Pinterest, pin my own ideas, recipes and interests.
Won't: Make every fattening recipe just because it looks good, because most of them sure as heck won't feel good after they are ingested.
Won't: Follow all of the relationship/parenting pins. Heaven knows what some people are thinking.
Will: Unfollow the boards that are overly cynical, or meant for guilt trips ("I have a flat stomach even after bearing triplets! Your extra flab makes you ugly and lazy. Eat nothing, run from room to room, and do 100 sit-ups every time you want to say something.")

Will: Read good literature and not feel left out by not owning a TV to keep up with all the popular shows.
Will: See the movies I want to see, and turn off any movie with too much violence, language or even the slight suggestion of sex because I don't want to see, nor do I have to see it.
Won't: See a movie just because everyone LOVES it.

Won't: Hold a grudge for anything he does or says wrong. I sure ain't the picture of perfection, why should expect him to be?
Will: Love my husband, talk to him as an equal partner, and talk about feelings before misunderstandings get out of hand.

Will: Exercise and eat whole, nutritious foods.
Will: Bake and eat my favorite gourmet treats.
Won't: Eat High Fructose Corn Syrup or finish eating any sweet that isn't worth the calories.
Will: Practice yoga.
Won't: Run a marathon.

Won't: Smile at people I don't know, or try to strike up conversation with strangers whom I may never see again.
Won't: Be overly friendly and superficial just so people think I am nice.
Will: Be a loyal, sincere friend and help out those around me who are in need.

Hello...Again

It is me again. Miss me? While the marriage blog is alive and well, I have decided to once again post here. While in a marriage, my husband and I try to be united in all we do (to the best of our ability, we are human after-all), we are also two distinct and separate people. A marriage really couldn't exist if we were both identical. It should go without saying that a life with an identical duplicate of one's self, would be a quite boring life.

So, here I am. These thoughts are mine, and here I can post my thoughts without incriminating my husband into whatever strange things I say.

We've Moved.

Because of the recent marriage between myself and a man, he and I decided to begin our own blog together. It is listed as private, but if you would like an invitation, I would be happy to invite you if you send me your email.

Thanks for reading.

What it is like to be a Bride - Scam calls

One of the best planning resources for weddings is a bridal fair. Most cities have these a few times a year. A lot of vendors come; photographers, cake artists, reception centers, dress shops, caterers, etc.. It's a wonderful place to get ideas of what is available in your town, price ranges, and sometimes you can get some good deals. With a lot of options close together, you can get a better sense of what you like and don't like with side-by-side comparisons.

Aside from a plug for bridal shows, I would like to issue a warning. When you start going to bridal shows and shops that require you to register, sign-up or whatever they say to get your phone number and mailing information....beware of who else will use that information! I wouldn't discourage you from going to a bridal show just because they ask for your information. You can be eligible for some great prizes this way, and they have to be able to reach you some how.

The warning is to know when to accept offers and when not to. A few months after I had attended the bridal show I started getting some calls from a number I didn't recognize. They called a few times a day, never leaving a message. Finally I decided to call it back and find out what was going on. It was a mens tuxedo store, asking if we had found a place for my fiances rental tux. I said "yes", and that was the end of it. Then, a few weeks later I got a call from a photography studio, telling me I had won $700 worth of photography. It was only a month and a half from my wedding date, so I thought it was odd they had waited so long to tell me, since a photographer is one of the first things you book in wedding planning. They wouldn't send me a price list, just told me I needed to come into the studio. My fiance and I decided it was a waste of time, knowing there was no way they were just going to give us $700 worth of photography without some other monetary commitment. The next day a young girl called me, telling me that a "secret sister" had referred me to get a free facial. I said "what is her name?" and she replied by saying, "it's a secret sister thing. Now, can I ask you some questions to get to know you better?" My answer? "No." And just recently, another company called me, telling me they were going to give my fiance and I either a package for vacation, or wedding bands. The only requirement was to meet at a hotel in the city and stay for a 90-minute culinary presentation. No. Thanks. I could just smell a money trap.

Now, I do believe that all of these people work for legitimate businesses. In reality, my fiance could have claimed all of these prizes, just not entirely "free" as they were advertising. So just pay attention to what these people are asking you. You are more than welcome to hang up on them, or check them out. The internet is a great place to find out if they are legitimate business people, which most are. Remember that rarely is anything "free."